Kathy Carey

Kathy Carey

January 19, 1945–July 15, 2024

Kathy Carey was a fiercely independent woman who spent her life and career devoted to the care and education of children, worked for peace, social justice, and progress, generously gave what she had to others, and loved her family and friends. She stood for fairness and the truth, and never minced words. She had a quick sense of humor, a keen inquisitiveness, and was always up for an adventure. More than a few people have described her as “the smartest person I know.”

A firstborn daughter of a firstborn daughter, Marguerite Kathryn Carey (“Kathy”) was born in Chicago, IL on January 19, 1945, and moved with her family to Oklahoma City when she was 3 years old. She attended Villa Teresa, Christ the King, and Bishop McGuinness, and then Trinity College in Washington, DC, earning a degree in political science in 1966. Immediately after college, she taught in a private Catholic girls’ high school in Massachusetts, but found the atmosphere too restrictive (“If I had wanted to be a nun I would have done so,” she wrote in an article) and so decamped to New York City, working in book publishing at Simon & Schuster, and then as a caseworker in the Department of Welfare. She returned to Oklahoma for graduate studies in political science at OU, but found her presence—as the only woman in the program—challenged and unwelcomed. For a time, she ran a catering business with her college friend, then transferred to Oklahoma City University (OCU) to pursue a master’s degree in early childhood education. There she discovered the Montessori pedagogy, and earned a Montessori Primary certification in 1972, a Master of Arts in teaching in 1983, and taught in the Primary division of Casady School for 10 years. From 1975 to 2019, she was also an instructor at OCU’s Montessori teacher education program, shaping the careers of hundreds of future Montessori teachers around the world, from the United States to Taiwan to Ghana.

In 1985, she and her longtime friend Patti Tepper-Rasmussen founded the Learning Tree Toy Store in Oklahoma City, a business they would run together until 2005, when Kathy accepted the position of director of the Family Services and Child Development program at Rose State College.

In 2017, she founded a Montessori preschool program at Wesley Church in Oklahoma City. She was a longtime member of the American Montessori Society, and for nearly 20 years was the co-editor of its magazine, Montessori Life.

Throughout her life, Kathy remained deeply committed to her community and the causes she believed in. She served on the board of directors of Pambe Ghana, the YWCA, and Rainbow Fleet, to name a few.

Among her loves were: 

All children; a well-stocked bookstore; roast salmon, a green salad, and very cold Chardonnay; the ocean; Major League Baseball; The Sunday New York Times; classical music and the OKC Philharmonic; a good political debate

She also loved to read and write; her children remember her reading books and poetry out loud to them into middle school and beyond. A favorite poem of theirs was “The Night Will Never Stay” by Eleanor Farjeon—about the transitory nature of life, about endings and beginnings. 

The night will never stay,

The night will still go by, 

Though with a million stars 

You pin it to the sky. 

Though you bind it with the blowing wind, 

And buckle it with the moon, 

The night will slip away

Like sorrow or a tune.

She is survived by her children, Carey Jones and Puffer Jones, daughter-in-law Kelly Holst and son-in-law Lucas Barrowman, and four beloved grandchildren, Isaac and Olivia Jones and Lucy and Pippa Barrowman, as well as her brothers, Frank and Charlie, and her sister Elaine. She was preceded in death by her parents, Mimi and Frank Carey, and her sister Irene.

In her memory, her family would love it if you would do something today for a child in your life. Donations in Kathy’s name may be made to Rainbow Fleet (rainbowfleet.org), Pambe Ghana (pambeghana.org), or Wesley Montessori Preschool (wesleyokc.org/donate—choose “Montessori School scholarships”). A memorial service will take place November 16, 2024, at 10 a.m. at Mayflower Congregational Church in Oklahoma City.

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